Do This If A Black Cat Crosses Your Path

I live in a part of town where a black cat crossing your path occurs on a more than frequent basis.  We are out in the middle of now where here and there are no large predators. Cats pretty much roam free.  Recently a black cat in the neighborhood happened to meet another black cat in the neighborhood and what do yah know? Now there are bunch of black cats all over the place. Little runts. Unfortunately, anytime you walk down the street, you’re liable to get a black cat crossing your path.   Bad luck time for you (if you believe in that kind of shit), well actually that’s why you’re here and that’s why I’m writing this, because I believe in that kind of shit too.  You’re not alone.

Is a black cat crossing your path bad luck?

Realize that all jinxes, hexes or bad luck is mental. Symbols, amulets and chalices get all their power from the psyche. If you were born in a part of the world where this stigma wasn’t emphasized to the point of parody then you’d never consider a black cat crossing your path to be associated with a bad omen. Only when you’ve been enculturated into a society that believes this do you develop the belief system which actually manifests into “bad luck” perceived to be occurring from this event ( a black cat crossing your path.)

Walking home the other day, and this happened to me


Like I totally get it.  There is a level of anxiety that comes with reading omens.  Us spiritual adepts of the machine are highly attuned to varying levels of society and their interrelation.  Apparently sneezing can also explode a star. Everything is inter connected in a web of webbinness.  I get that and meaning arises from the most mundane of places.  Sadly, we’ve been enculturated to believe in this cat thing.  However don’t dismay. All Magick is psycho magick.  There is always something that can be done to counter these weird events and I’m here to help.

How do I reverse bad luck associated with a black cat crossing my path?

1) Get off “The Path”

Since this is a purely mental phenomenon, we can fight mentality with mentality i.e semantics. Using a little bit of wordplay to circumvent bad luck or a jinx can help you get out of it.  You have to believe that the jinx is lifted and use that psychic energy to defeat whatever you might think is following you.

Let’s dissect the phraseology and use it to devise a sort of ‘linguistic’ amulet.

A black cat crossing your path will bring bad luck.

So a white cat, or a tabby cat crossing your cat will not bring bad luck. What about this matter of crossing “the path.”  What constitutes ones path?  A path is a narrow which way that an individual treads in order to come to a given place, correct?   If am walking from point A to point B then anything in between would be considered my path.  I mean if I’m not going from point A to point B and a cat crosses at point C or point D. That is not my path.  It’s a point that is outside of my given path.

The idea is that the cat is on your “path.”  This is the word play and semantical gymnastics we are going to do in order to wiggle our way out of this one.  Bad luck occurs when a black cat crosses your path.  So…get off the path. A black cat crossing your path is the bad luck portion, but there is nothing about a black cat in general?  It is not bad luck if a black cat is paralleling your path or walking along side you.

When you see a black cat, take another path, or turn around and walk away.  It crossed your periphery of vision, but you’re not on that path to wherever you were going.  There is no jinx that says that walking away from a black cat is not bad luck, is there?

2) Coerce the Cat Spirit to Give you a Blessing

You might think that a cat is a narcissist. They are totally independent and anytime they have a chance for attention then they just soak it up.  Whose cat doesn’t try to come between then and whatever they are currently working on? However this idea that cats are narcissists who think they are gods is a gross misrepresentation and misconception.  Cats actually are gods!

Approach slowly and show you’re submission:

If a black cat crosses your path stop and try and coerce the cat to come over to you.  Bend over and put your hand down while saying something like “here kitty kitty kitty” or as I like to say “such a good boy.”  You might have to wait a few minutes. Cats want to make you wait for their blessings.  He/she will most likely roll over a few times on the ground. Try and approach the cat slowly.

As soon as the cat comes up to you and rubs against you, you’ve defeated the jinx.  There is no possible negative energy that can come from a cats blessing. It’s so powerful that any jinx is instantly reversed (even if the cat is black.)

  Scientific evidence proves cat blessings reverse black cat bad luck:  Cats and humans are mammals.  That means that we produce a very potent drug called ‘oxytocin.’ This chemical in your brain makes you feel good when you pet kitties or doggies or cuddle with you’re loved one.  So in regards to matters of the psyche, there is nothing more potent than getting high on this cat cuddle drug.  Cats brains will also be making it too.   So get high and remove the jinx.

3) Leave an Offering

Ok, ok…let’s say that 1 and 2 didn’t work.  First off, you crossed over the thresh hold of “you’re path” and the “cat crossing your path” so now you’ve got brain thing that thinks you have bad luck.  Furthermore, you bent over to try and get the cat blessing, but it didn’t work.  Instead of getting the Cat cuddling induced high of the Oxytocin response, you did the opposite, you scared the shit out of the cat and he/she scampered off somewhere.

Well now you’re fucked with bad luck right?  You can do this other psychomagic maneuver to de-bad luck yourself.  Remember all magic is psycho magic and that includes cats.  Magical side effects (like good luck or bad luck) are only manifestations of your psyche doing backflips.  So if you stub your toe, you won’t think “I stubbed my toe” but “Oh man, it’s because of that damn bad luck cat crossing my path.”

Here is what you’ll need:

  1. Go back to the place where you saw the cat and leave the meat. (Don’t forget to open the can if it’s canned.)
  2. Leave the two rocks on either side of the meat.
  3. Spin around 3 times until your back is to the place where the cat crossed and throw the salt over your shoulder
  4. Walk away without looking back.

It’s that simple. This accomplishes a few things.  Firstly, the spot has been sanctified and made cat friendly.  Cats will sniff out the morsel and come to eat it. There is a probability that your Black cat will come back as well, but that’s not important.  What’s important here is that you pacified the cat energies.

Secondly, spinning around three times and throwing salt over your shoulder is a known ritual that is meant to de-jinx your ass.  Chances are if you’re already infected with the black cat crossing your path psychic parasite, (enculturated) then you’ll also benefit from this very simple de-jinxing ritual.

Thirdly, special rocks because….rocks are just cool. They are all different. Nobody doesn’t like rocks, even cats like rocks.  By using them in your little cat ritual you’ve effectively stored up some sort of psychic energy for use here, so just put down the damn rocks.  Everybody rocks and essentially any witchcraft/ritual or ceremonial magic incorporates rocks.

4) Vaccination against a Black Cat Crossing your Path

This is so simple yet so hard. If you utilize the black cat vaccine, you’ll never ever have to worry about black cats again.  Like seriously, you can have 75 black cats crossing your path constantly all day long and you won’t develop so much as an evil eye from someone.

Seriously the steps for black cat crossing your path vaccination is so simple you’ll think I’m stupid.  Ready? Here are the steps.

Step 1: Buy a black cat.
Step 2: Now you have a black cat

Nothing is more fulfilling than owning a cat. Even having a human child can never be compared to the majesty and blessings of a cat. Not even caring for a terminally ill elderly loved one will be as important as stroking your little baby furball blackie. Seriously, now that you are the proud owner of a black cat (actually you’re owned by the black cat) you effectively expose yourself to a black cat everyday.

By developing a deep and unending bond with your black cat, your psychic energy rewires and rewrites.  You literally can’t register black cats as something connotating negativity anymore. When you see your little bundle of joy, you can’t help but be stimulated. Literally! This all goes back to what I was talking about earlier about Oxytocin.

Because the bond between a human and a cat has become solidified into the cosmic nature with you a black cat crossing your path at this point denotes luck luck and nothing but positivity.  Imagine pouring your love and care into such a mystical creature like a black cat.  You’re energy and chi goes into cultivating this relationship  Now you’re inextricable bound together.  Black cats are one with you and you are one with it like some Cronenburg Cat version of “The Thing.”

Surround yourself with black cats, immerse yourself with them and their energy feeds the opposite of bad luck. It becomes good luck. Now every time a black cat crosses your path, you’ve rewired your psyche so the energy which flows back to you is all positive.  Cause when you see a black cat, you can only think of your black cat.

 Now Here are the Photos of my Black Cat that you are Now Required to View

Rolo Dave and his Cat in Germany
Blackie and her Human
Black Cat Crossing your path is Good Luck
Blackie highly titillated by a piece of string
Black cat on her back
Don’t pet the belly, it’s a trap.

Did you know a White Cat Crossing your Path is “GOOD LUCK?”


So if you’re still with me then you’ve successfully completed the “black cat crossing my path” course.  Congratulations. You’ve unlocked achievement. Add this amulet to your merits and trophies and realize you’ve ascended to a higher level of attainment just by sitting and reading my weird blog post.

Humans, as a species, seek out patterns in the world.  Naturally, when they find something that they can associate to exterior events, they then connect them to one another.  It’s funny this happens, because black cats aren’t actually the cause of bad luck at all.  The resulting bad luck that comes from a black cat crossing your path is just the believe that you’ll get some sort of bad luck.

In Conclusion

I wish that the human brain was easier to hijack, but unfortunately even knowing that this is the case, still doesn’t improve or redirect that very strong psychic and emotional energy.  This is why we practice psychomagic this is why we are magicians and Art Shamans. To affect the human mind with more external stimuli which counteracts our belief systems.  I think in psychology it’s called primingPriming is a phenomenon whereby exposure to one stimulus influences a response to a subsequent stimulus, without conscious guidance or intention. It’s the basis of all magic.

I’m really trying to bring the end of this blog post in for a smooth landing.  Improving yourself using psychomagic is a bumpy ride.  We’re all on a straight path and many “black cats” will cross our path (not always in the form of a feline.)  It’s important to know that nothing really harms us.  We all are on a straight path to Valhalla and the great beyond.  This is all a game, enjoy life and have fun and steer clear of those black cats when you can.


David Ex Machina

David Ex Machina


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